God..Friends and Me

For long i have been contemplating about my relation with few so called "Friends" and with "God". How come i mixed up the topic of friendship and god is a topic of contention.

I have seen my faith in god taking various shades and so has been my relationship with my friends.

As a kid, i was made to believe that god is a supreme power and looks para-normal. God would punish me if i committed a sin and would reward me for my good work. This thought didn't last long and i started believing that irrespective of our actions god loves us. He is magnanimous and forgiving. But once i started facing the real world and faced the real challengesi had to believe that we do get punishment sooner or later.
Slowly and steadily i started thinking of god as one who is similar to me. I still adhere to this thought pattern.

Now, i would slightly change the topic to friendship.A lot of time we we mistake our acquaintance or our peers for our friends. Its not hard to feel frustrated when these people don't live upto your expectations.

Most of you might have guessed that i am trying to vent out my anger for someone. I am not a kind of person who can go out and bash up people. I really cannot do that even if i want to { i have done that in the past but with time i have mellowed down}, so letting out the steam here on my blog.

I really get bogged down when my so called "friends" call me up only to seek some help. It is not that i don't want to help but i feel that this relation can't be friendship. These people would never call me to ask "how am i doing", or they won't hang out with me. I have enough friends to hang out with and it could be that my so called "Friends" might not find me interesting enough but they won't respond when i try to get in touch with them. Now, this is something that i don't like. If i am there for you my friend then you ought to respond when i need you.
So, what do i do..i call it quits. Its good to be a little selfish. As i am done with the post mortem of my failed friendships, i realize that my relation with "God" is going in the very same direction.

I pray to god but i am always asking for one thing or the other. I am a thankless fellow, as soon as i get what i want i hardly give a party to god. I am not responding to his calls.

This sucks!!! and No doubt as i am moving away from my so called "friends", god would have by now...moved away from me...

Many might argue that god is too magnanimous to behave like that. But for me, my god behaves in a similar manner as i do.

Today, when i look back. The life seems good. All the troubles that bogged me once seem trivial. I am glad that i am alive but i am sad that i never thanked god.

God..i love you...i do..i want to give you a hug and say thank for all that you have done for me. I will keep on bothering you with my silly thoughts but from now on i will try and meet you often..i will try to talk to you often...i will try not only to talk but also to listen to you.