Humbled by a "Special" guy

I was getting late for my flight and rushed to the lift. As if the lift wasn't descending slowly enough it stopped on the 9th floor. An aged lady entered the lift and stopped the doors from closing. She was waiting for someone. I started getting restless and didn't say anything for 30 seconds or so but then i couldn't resist

'can you please let the doors close, i am getting late'. i was stern (not rude)

'I am waiting for my son' she replied while peeping out of the lift and blocking the door sensors

I cursed her son for taking so long and wasting my "precious" time. If not for the heavy luggage, i would have taken stairs or the other lift.

Few minutes of wait later, that lady's husband and son (who was in his 30s) entered the lift. The old man clutched his son's elbow and the son limped into the lift. The son smiled at her mom for holding the lift and the lady smiled back and affectionately ruffled his hair

This guy was in his thirties but behaved like a 10 ten year old. He had a limp and a spoke with a slur

'hello, i am karan' he slurred and clasped my hand gently between his hands

He was "special", and I immediately felt a chill down my spine. I was choked and immensely embarrassed for my behavior. Karan didn't let go off my hand till we reached the ground floor and kept on passing that infectious smile.

"bye and have a wonderful day" he slurred again smilingly. I was choked but i smiled back and wished him a good day. I held my emotions else a stream of tears would have erupted from my eyes

His parents held his one hand each and escorted him to the car.  I was so moved that i could not move out of the lift. God has blessed me with everything that a man could aspire for and yet i keep on cribbing every now and then. Here was a "special" guy who lived with a zeal, who held people's hands and touched their souls...

Karan - you indeed are special!! Thank you for touching my soul. May god bless you and grant me the wisdom..

I have grown up but my parents are growing old..

Today, my dad called me and told that my paternal uncle is no more. His voice was shaky and i am sure he was crying. Losing the big brother must be hard for him. Even after hanging up the phone i can't get my dad's voice out of my head..it's still echoing there. I can't explain how painful it is for me to realize that my dad was crying and i can't do anything about it. How the times have changed. Time flies..literally, the days have become longer and the years short. Few years back i was the one who was whining and sobbing in front of my parents..seems like i have grown up but my parents are growing old :(

husband

Someone who can make you smile for eternity

Can hold your hand in front of a stupid fraternity

The one who loves watching you sleep

He will be yours forever to keep

The one who loves to feel your breath

Someone who will be with you till the death

With him in your life you will never need a friend

That someone should be your husband…

the veil

in the desert beneath the moonlight
your sensual eyes behind the veil
you tease me and you please me
i lift the veil and kiss your lips
you make me do the crazy things
is it the love or just a dream
why does ur absense invokes this pain

Wish list Wednesday No.4

First of all a big thanks to PS and judges for choosing my post as the winning entry last week.  Also, i got my copy of  which i plan to read this weekend. I hope this book also tops the charts like Preeti's other works.

And now this week's prompt: "i wish everyone loved.....". I gave this topic a prolonged thought and came up with various things that could fit the bill, like - i wish everyone loved their mother/ loved their food/ loved their spouse/ loved themselves/loved their job/loved mother earth and what not.

But, nothing seemed to justify the notion of LOVE, for love can't be confined to an object, person or an idea. After much contemplation i can simply say - i wish everyone "LOVED". I sincerely wish that everyone once in their lifetime truly experience the emotion called love irrespective of whether they love a person/animal or an idea.

I have failed, i have conquered and above all i have evolved as a person when i loved.

Falling in love, i experienced passion -  I skipped heartbeats, I missed few breaths and I dreamt with open eyes. The world became so beautiful that it seemed like heaven. I anticipated for my feelings to be reciprocated and I experienced anxiety when my expression of love went "unanswered/unnoticed".

Waiting for my beloved, i developed patience. While waiting to get a glimpse of those sparkling eyes, sensuous lips and enigmatic smile every moment seemed like an eternity. But in the end it was always worth the wait.

I have fought in love and learnt to rise above my ego while placating my beloved. I have failed in love and i have been depressed. The world seemed dark and gloomy like hell. I have cursed myself for loving someone. I have experienced hatred when i failed in love.

But when someone LOVED me i developed the strength to let go off the past and i learnt to rise above the feeling of possession. A dialogue from Namaste London says it all:

ishq de meree mitra pehchaan kee 
mit javay jadoon zid apnan dee

Translation - 
what is the true identity of love
when you rise above your obsession for possession

I might have failed in love at some point of time but i have found the love of my life. I am glad that i LOVED and i wish at some point of their lives everyone LOVED someone/something with all their might..

Wishlist Wednesday number 3 ..

Was browsing through Preeti Shenoy's blog and found this contest. The prompt (The one thing that I wish everyone would learn is...) persuaded me to write a post on this long dead blog..

The one thing that i wish everyone would learn is "the way to figure out one's true calling/passion". 

Soon, I am going to be on the other side of 30 but I still don't have an identity? For, a man can't just be defined by a name, address or occupation. Tendulkar is defined by his passion for batting and Lata mangeshkar by her passion for singing. I wish everyone would learn the art of figuring out his/her sweet spot, enabling the person to live a meaningful life. 

I have tasted professional success, and have a healthy body, lovely friends and a family to die for. But, if i don't play Table Tenis i feel as if something is missing. I often experience "trance" while playing table tennis and boy what a feeling it is. It's meditative and i am always left wanting for more. I rise above the trivialities of success and failure, get rid of all the negative emotions: jealousy, anger, lust et al and feel so complete. I may not be the best TT player but i am the happiest guy when i play the game. 

I truly believe that once people figure out their true calling, world would be a better place to live. The negative emotions would take a back seat and people would be so full of joy. 

But right from childhood we are taught how to make a living and not how to make a life (i know its a cliched saying). Peer pressure and parental influence often pushes us into the rat race and most of us die being part of it. We start believing that having money and fame will make us successful and this success will bring joy. And, in pursuit of success we do things that make sense to our mind but don't touch our heart. We often become indifferent or start embracing negative emotions and lead a life that seems shallow. (A successful life might not seem shallow through the lens called society but we ourselves might not find it meaningful)

However, if we start following our heart, then every moment we will be doing something that makes us feel joyous. And this feeling of joy puts us on a path of excellence, enabling us to lead a meaningful life. 

MBA Admissions - Do you need a Consultant or a Mentor??

During R1 applications, I reached out to Yael, who is an MBA from NYU Stern. She has worked with one of the top i-banks and then she quit her job to be a part of NYU Stern's admissions team. I have already written a post on Yael's MBA consulting oops "MENTORING" venture - Admit1mba. But that was when i had only briefly interacted with her. Now, after working with her on my apps (Chicago and INSEAD) and getting to know her better i can say with even greater confidence that Yael is one of the best MBA mentors out there. I might not have made the final cut, but that's due to my own choices and decisions (not to pursue an MBA from a college outside top5, not to apply to more than 2 colleges etc etc).

Most importantly, lengthy discussions with Yael often bought me closer to myself. More than an MBA journey it became a journey of self realization. Time and again i have said on this blog that i spent close to 3 years on MBA apps (GMAT, School research, app, re-app) and to no avail. But the journey has made me a much better and confident person. I believe that i was lucky to work with someone like Yael and with bloggers such as "Forrest Gump", who boosted my confidence, questioned my assumptions and helped me move to the next orbit. The chief reason is that Yael and Gump are not consultants, they are mentors and friends.

Yael has just made a video where she shares the shit admissions consultants say, watch out before you head out to one. And if you really want to get help then seek a "mentor" (you know who i am talking about) ..

All da best
Sayonara

p.s - my keyboard is not working properly, pls mind the spelling mistakes :)

Update

I keep on getting emails on the id linked to this blog, seeking help for GMAT prep and Essay writing. Though i won't mind helping people out but i hardly log in to that e-mail id. After getting dinged by INSEAD i had an i/v invite from Booth for 2nd time in a row but i decided not to go for it. I think i lacked the motivation and self confidence. I think i am going to keep this blog as it is because it has some good articles on GMAT prep and essay writing. But going forward i don't think i will be able to keep this blog alive... it was a wonderful journey with all the fellow bloggers and readers... :)..

Love to all...

Cheers
KT

End of the game for me

After 3 years of hard work (GMAT + Essays), research and gruelling wait i have decided to call it quits. Today was a bad day, as soon as i stepped out of home i met an accident. Then received ding from one of the 2 schools i had applied to in R1. No interview invite :'(

Compared to last year i had much stronger essays and some of the current students who read my essays reciprocated my belief. Worst part is even after putting in 100s of hours i don't know what is wrong with my app. 740 GMAT (92 percentile in both sections), amongst top 3 students in undergrad (dean scholarship holder from a top engg college in India), tonnes of EC and leadership roles (played hockey at national level, chairman and cofounder of an NGO for past 5 years, various roles at my current organization) , excellent career progression (7 years of work exp at one of the global banks and leading a group of almost 30 people), have some patents to my name, one failed entrepreneurial venture, good recos...and decent essays

I am disappointed and feeling perplexed, not because i failed but because i don't know what caused this failure. And since i don't know where i am lacking i can't think of ways to improve my candidature. I have wasted almost 10% of my life on chasing my MBA dream..10% of my life WASTED..

But was it really a waste? i think i have become a better person in process of applying to b-schools. My communication skills have improved, my awareness of the world has increased..i met some of the most wonderful people in this journey..and most importantly i learnt to INTROSPECT...so it was not that bad...

something might be missing in my app that's why i am not attending a b-school..there would be a lot better candidates than me..and i have to accept it...feels bad but that's life....and i wasted lots of $$ on this game..bad bet..

I don't know how i am gonna keep this blog alive...atleast for next few weeks i just want to let go off this sad feeling....till then ciao...

Booth o Booth

Well my love for Booth grows after every interaction with alum or ad-com..

Forrest Gump - http://run-forrest.blogspot.com/

he is one of the most helpful guys i have ever met online...hats off to you dude..

Poweryogi - http://poweryogi.blogspot.com/

FANTASTIC -- he is one guy whom i would LOVE (brotherly love) to meet and seek GYAN...his blog inspires me to jump to next orbit...

AD-COM -- how hard you work guys??? you write them a mail and here comes a prompt reply ("and that too amid the ongoing admissions season...)

Attending Booth would be a dream come true...?(thats wat i feel right now...)

oops..

i am a re-applicant to Booth this year and already exhausted with my app. Today my recommender calls up and tells me that he has submitted my reco..and i thank him. After a brief pause he says but there is one small issue, i forgot to select the correct relationship in the reco form. And my jaw dropped... :'(

He is planning to write a note to the ad-com but i just can't concentrate on my app..he selected the correct info but then his explorer collapsed and whatever changes he made were lost.

I am hoping that this silly mistake doesn't prove to be a show stopper..and i encourage all the fellow applicants to update their recommenders so that they don't commit the same mistake..

Heading for disaster again...

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.


Albert Einstein

After last year's app debacle i didn't want to repeat the same  mistakes. (I should pay heed to advice given by Einstein the great) Last year by this time, i had not only written but also re-written my essays a 20 times and had them proof read by current students and alums. (And yes they all kicked my butt harder than zidane kicked the football.) I was talking relentlessly to students, alums and taking notes. I was going through school websites and attending college info-sessions. But what i didn't do was INTROSPECTION. To make the maters worse, i only applied to 3 schools and that too in top 10.

At the begining of this app season, i was determined to get into a b-school. So, abiding by mr. Einstein's wisdom i didn't write my essays 20 times..oops i haven't even written them even once this year. I am browsing gaming and social networking sites instead of b-school websites. I am going to parties rather than attending school info-sessions. But i am INTROSPECTING...and yes i have discovered a lot about myself..But due to personal reasons my target schools have changed drastically..

Introspection has helped me a lot but i haven't written a single word on MS Word till now. I have to shortlist my recommendors and share my stories with them (last year i had already done so).

Sir Einstein (was he knighted?? who cares) - i followed your advice and overhauled my approach but i think i am again headed towards a disaster...(please RIP...no need to jump out of your grave and strangulate me...i know i am the culprit) ...

True Calling

'I simply cannot fail and i don't have to worry about fame and money. Now what is it that i shall be doing?' I have been asking this question to myself for past few weeks. But i haven't got the answer yet and i don't think i am going to get one in near future.

Why is it that only a minuscle %age of people outshine 99.9999% of the world's population. There can be 3 reasons:

1. Successful and Happy people are doing what they love to do - e.g -- Zidane loved soccer and it seems god blessed him with immense talent for playing soccer. When you do what you love to do and to add to it you have immense talent in that field, you are bound to be successful and joyous.

2. Successful people are doing what they believe is important to do - e.g -- this time i will take an example of Amrish Puri, he is regarded as the greatest villain in indian film industry. Amrish Puri wanted to be a hero but directors refused to cast him as hero and instead wanted him to play a villain.What did he do? Obviously he accepted the role and rest is the history. At times we have to accept our limitations and do what is best in our own interest. This particular category is successful but they might not be joyous.

3. People who are joyous do what is important and still nurture their interests -- i might love to play soccer and i might not have the talent to make it to top circuit. What shall i do?? Stop playing soccer?? No...i should play soccer for the fun of it..and god would have given me inherent talent to shine in some other field. Eg - Anshu Jain -- the guy who is touted as next CEO of Deutsche Bank. He is a damn successful banker but he loves to play cricket. And to sustain his love for cricket he still plays it, not only plays it but leads Deutsche's cricket team...

Then there are people who don't even think about happYness and success...they might dream about the riches but they even question their right to dream. My domestic help is a very hard working person, i once asked him why in the hell you are stuck in this menial job?Go out and do some small business. But he could not believe that he would be able to do something other than doing the dishes and cleaning homes. {Wish he could read Dhirubhai's biography...a petrol pump attendent who ended up creating India's largest private petrochemical company.}

It's time for office...more later..ciao

Sore Loser

This morning, i lost 5 consecutive games of ping pong. After every loss i whined and tried not to LOOSE the next game {i should have focussed on WINNING}. I whined about everything - height of the net, weight of the ball, the bat, lighting, table and what not. [In hindsight, i should have played without the fear of loosing, was playing with someone with whom i have history of some close matches and of some heated exchanges during the matches.]

While cooling down i realized that instead of whining i should have taken note of my opponent's weaknesses and should have played patiently [i kept on smashing the ball in net]. Then suddenly last year's app process came to my mind. Once i was dinged by all schools, I complained about high volume of apps, belonging to over-represented group {Indian Male Engineer} and not giving enought thought to essays {hell, an excuse can't get worse than this}. I should have realized that despite of all the aforementioned excuses, a lot of Indians made it to top b-schools. It clearly shows that they were better PREPARED than me.

I sincerely feel that i am a loser because i behave like one. i "Lack FOCUS", i Think about failure rather than success, i Whine after loosing the game rather than introspecting...Will i change...well i plan to :) ...

Gearing up again

I have almost recovered from the setbacks and disappointments of last year's application season debacle. I am feeling enthusiastic again about applying to some top b-schools. I gave a deep thought to my application strategy and summarized it as:

1. Apply only to top 10 b-schools -- i don't think its gonna change {i know its very risky but can't just help it...}

2. Colloquial language-- BIG NO --has to change...i was too colloquial.. --> will be a lot more structured and formal while approaching the essays

3. My goals were too narrow -- i was specific but too narrow -- will be specific but will show some flexibility..won't be too rigid this time

4. Failed to highlight my extra currics and achievements outside the professional domain -- Will have to show a multi-dimensional facet...

Tied up real bad in a critical project so that leaves very little time for blogging...but will try to share timely updates on my apps...

wassup

Long time since i published a meaningful post and i don't think the status will change even after this post. After the last year's app debacle am not sure what to write and what to do. I will submit the apps once more but with my current trip to USA all my USA fascination has evaporated. USA is a great country {one of the very best} and the kind of lifestyle you get in USA is next to impossible in India. But, with my family and friends in India my heart never travels to USA with me. An MBA from USA or for that matter from any other developed nation will pull me out of India for atleast 6-7 years {normal time to pay back USD 150, 000}.

Some say, that once you settle you will make friends and things will be fine. But i believe that things will remain the same, i will change {atleast superficially}. There is a huge cultural gap between India and USA {and i have due respect for both the cultures} but i am not yet ready to move away from  my roots {should have thought hard before last year's app season}. I will be applying to some top schools in India this year and if i screw up again then i will hone my current skill set to the highest level. Talking about other options only shows the level of my confidence.

Anyways, the stay in US is going good. A big relief from Indian summer, yes its 115 degrees in India and in NY it's 56 degrees. I am waiting for the next weekend as it's an extended one and i hope to get some good deals in lieu of memorial day.

On work front, i have been staffed on a challenging project. Structuring a model to optimally price the products of a leading i-bank. I think that's it for now and i must go back to work, lots to catch up.

Ciao

In NY

Have been staffed on a new project {pricing the i-banking products} and must admit feeling scared. Have no domain knowledge or prior experience of working in this domain. Will be in NY till Jun-10. Anyone who reads this blog and who wants to meet is most welcome..

This would be my first trip to NY so feeling a bit strange as i would be all alone :'( .. yeah that sucks...earlier i had few frnds in charlotte/chi etc and that helped...

How to Self-Market your Online MBA Degree - Guest Post by Mariana

While young aspiring entrepreneurs technically don't need to have an MBA to launch their

business, an advanced degree can most certainly help—you'll learn all of the fundamentals

needed to become successful, including being equipped with skills in marketing, finance,

business models, and operations management. Not to mention an MBA can most certainly

help launch your career as a company CEO, corporate manager, corporate vice-president and

department manager within another start-up company that is not your own. But returning to

a brick-and-mortar graduate school can be time consuming. Maybe that's why so many are

pursuing online MBA degrees. While the validity of online degrees is slowly starting to be

accepted by most employers, some are still unfortunately skeptical of the whole idea of e-

learning. This is mainly due to the numerous illegitimate diploma mills that have tainted the

concept of online schooling. With that said, employers will still hire online graduates, but be

prepared to answer more difficult questions to prove your education is legitimate and skills are

up to par. But the fact that you earned your degree online already sets you at an advantage over

the rest of the applicants— you just need to know how to market yourself properly. To learn how

to sell your MBA online degree, continue reading below.



Self-Discipline



Typically during every interview, an employer will ask an interviewee how he or she stands out

from the rest of the applicants. This would be the perfect opportunity to simultaneously highlight

your strong work ethic and explain how you possess a lot of self-discipline. Online students are

required to complete their assignments independently without little or no supervision –a quality

that employers always look for an employee. While yes it is true that traditional students must

also work on their own to complete their assignments, the flexibility of online classes can be

harder than when completing courses in a traditional setting because students have to set their

own goals and be really self-disciplined to finish assignments without reminders from professors

and outside help from their classmates. Your online degree can prove that you are self-starter and

know how to get your work accomplished.


Time Management Skills


Here, you can also stress that you were able to earn your degree despite any obstacles that may

have stood in your way, such as balancing a full or part-time job or taking care of your family.

The applicants who only had to worry about school can't say the same. If you can prove that you

were dedicated enough to earn a degree and utilize your time management skills to the best of

your ability, this will undoubtedly demonstrate that you can get your work done and that you are

a hard worker.

Proficiency in Computers


Your online degree can also demonstrate that you have basic skills in computer and

technology—a quality that employers also seek in potential hires. Explain how the format of

online schooling will save the company time and money since you will not need to be trained to

use certain software programs and you can correct your own minor technical difficulties such

as updating/installing plug-ins such as Flash and Adobe Reader and you know how to scour the

internet. You also can stress how your online school format has taught you how to make video

conference calls since you were required to video chat professors for example or that instant

messaging and e-mailing has prepared you to communicate at a global level. You can also stress

how you are an effective online researcher since you only had access to online sources and

databases to complete your term papers and assignments.



P.S: Mariana Ashley is a freelance writer who particularly enjoys writing about online colleges. She


loves receiving reader feedback, which can be directed to mariana.ashley031 @gmail.com.

You can read more stuff from her at http://www.onlinecolleges.net/

clear admit bob voting on FB

Though i am late :) but still would urge the readers of this blog to login to ur FB account and vote for ur fav b-school blog...my blog appears as KT...below is the link

FB Link

Sathya Sai Baba

Yesterday, Sathya Sai Baba bid adieu to the people of planet earth. Every channel played the same news and all the celebrities paid homage to the great man. Yet there were people who could not refrain themselves from calling baba a fraud, magician and what not.

I am not a devotee of Sai Baba but i respect him. My scientific mind refuses to believe that he could materials things such as holu ash, shiv lings etc. But my heart feels that he was a man who invoked lots of faith in millions of people. Making people believe in love, peace and positivities of life is no small thing. People even raise fingers at the wealth amassed by sathya sai trust. But they forget that in a country such as India, Sai trust hospital provides free medi-aid to thousands of poor people.

A lot of people were even sceptic about Christ but today, he is hailed as king of kings. I pay my homage to a man who enlightened many minds and changed the course of thousands. may Baba RIP...