Humbled by a "Special" guy

I was getting late for my flight and rushed to the lift. As if the lift wasn't descending slowly enough it stopped on the 9th floor. An aged lady entered the lift and stopped the doors from closing. She was waiting for someone. I started getting restless and didn't say anything for 30 seconds or so but then i couldn't resist

'can you please let the doors close, i am getting late'. i was stern (not rude)

'I am waiting for my son' she replied while peeping out of the lift and blocking the door sensors

I cursed her son for taking so long and wasting my "precious" time. If not for the heavy luggage, i would have taken stairs or the other lift.

Few minutes of wait later, that lady's husband and son (who was in his 30s) entered the lift. The old man clutched his son's elbow and the son limped into the lift. The son smiled at her mom for holding the lift and the lady smiled back and affectionately ruffled his hair

This guy was in his thirties but behaved like a 10 ten year old. He had a limp and a spoke with a slur

'hello, i am karan' he slurred and clasped my hand gently between his hands

He was "special", and I immediately felt a chill down my spine. I was choked and immensely embarrassed for my behavior. Karan didn't let go off my hand till we reached the ground floor and kept on passing that infectious smile.

"bye and have a wonderful day" he slurred again smilingly. I was choked but i smiled back and wished him a good day. I held my emotions else a stream of tears would have erupted from my eyes

His parents held his one hand each and escorted him to the car.  I was so moved that i could not move out of the lift. God has blessed me with everything that a man could aspire for and yet i keep on cribbing every now and then. Here was a "special" guy who lived with a zeal, who held people's hands and touched their souls...

Karan - you indeed are special!! Thank you for touching my soul. May god bless you and grant me the wisdom..

True Calling

'I simply cannot fail and i don't have to worry about fame and money. Now what is it that i shall be doing?' I have been asking this question to myself for past few weeks. But i haven't got the answer yet and i don't think i am going to get one in near future.

Why is it that only a minuscle %age of people outshine 99.9999% of the world's population. There can be 3 reasons:

1. Successful and Happy people are doing what they love to do - e.g -- Zidane loved soccer and it seems god blessed him with immense talent for playing soccer. When you do what you love to do and to add to it you have immense talent in that field, you are bound to be successful and joyous.

2. Successful people are doing what they believe is important to do - e.g -- this time i will take an example of Amrish Puri, he is regarded as the greatest villain in indian film industry. Amrish Puri wanted to be a hero but directors refused to cast him as hero and instead wanted him to play a villain.What did he do? Obviously he accepted the role and rest is the history. At times we have to accept our limitations and do what is best in our own interest. This particular category is successful but they might not be joyous.

3. People who are joyous do what is important and still nurture their interests -- i might love to play soccer and i might not have the talent to make it to top circuit. What shall i do?? Stop playing soccer?? No...i should play soccer for the fun of it..and god would have given me inherent talent to shine in some other field. Eg - Anshu Jain -- the guy who is touted as next CEO of Deutsche Bank. He is a damn successful banker but he loves to play cricket. And to sustain his love for cricket he still plays it, not only plays it but leads Deutsche's cricket team...

Then there are people who don't even think about happYness and success...they might dream about the riches but they even question their right to dream. My domestic help is a very hard working person, i once asked him why in the hell you are stuck in this menial job?Go out and do some small business. But he could not believe that he would be able to do something other than doing the dishes and cleaning homes. {Wish he could read Dhirubhai's biography...a petrol pump attendent who ended up creating India's largest private petrochemical company.}

It's time for office...more later..ciao

Sore Loser

This morning, i lost 5 consecutive games of ping pong. After every loss i whined and tried not to LOOSE the next game {i should have focussed on WINNING}. I whined about everything - height of the net, weight of the ball, the bat, lighting, table and what not. [In hindsight, i should have played without the fear of loosing, was playing with someone with whom i have history of some close matches and of some heated exchanges during the matches.]

While cooling down i realized that instead of whining i should have taken note of my opponent's weaknesses and should have played patiently [i kept on smashing the ball in net]. Then suddenly last year's app process came to my mind. Once i was dinged by all schools, I complained about high volume of apps, belonging to over-represented group {Indian Male Engineer} and not giving enought thought to essays {hell, an excuse can't get worse than this}. I should have realized that despite of all the aforementioned excuses, a lot of Indians made it to top b-schools. It clearly shows that they were better PREPARED than me.

I sincerely feel that i am a loser because i behave like one. i "Lack FOCUS", i Think about failure rather than success, i Whine after loosing the game rather than introspecting...Will i change...well i plan to :) ...

Breathing techniques

Recently Ms "S" shared one article with me and after i tried the breathing techniques mentioned in the article, i found these techniques to be really effective. So, i decided to share the article with you all.

The nose has a left and a right side; we use both to inhale and exhale. Actually they are different; you would be able to feel the difference. The right side represents the sun, left side represents the moon. During a headache, try to close your right nose and use your left nose to breathe. In about 5 mins, your headache will go.

If you feel tired, just reverse, close your left nose and breathe through your right nose. After a while, you will feel your mind is refreshed. Right side belongs to 'hot', so it gets heated up easily, left side belongs to 'cold'. Most females breathe with their left noses, so they get "cooled off" faster. Most of the guys breathe with their right noses, they get worked up.

Do you notice the moment we wake up, which side breathes faster? Left or right? ? If left is faster, you will feel tired. So, close your left nose and use your right nose for breathing, you will get refreshed quickly.

Goal Setting

Goal Setting

In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are. - Arnold H. Glasgow
Glasgow’s words are equally valid in the game of life as they’re in the field of football. Was Maradona focusing on English defenders or the goalposts while he scored “the goal of the century” in 1986 world cup? Had he not been laser focused, I don’t think he would have been able to dodge seven English defenders, run 60 yards and score the brilliant goal. Let me take another example to illustrate why Goals are so important?

Do we start a journey without knowing where do we want to go?

• Before starting a journey we consider the following:

* Starting Point * Mode of Travel
* Destination * Start Date
* Price of ticket * End Date

Then why do we go through the important journey called life without having any goals?

Arnold Schwarzenegger was mere 15 years old when he proclaimed:

“I want to be the best built man in the world. Then I want to go to America and be in movies. I want to be an actor."

Didn’t he powered forward to achieve goal after goal in a phenomenal laser-focused way? From an early life Arnold used to set goals and took mighty strides forward to achieve them. We all can learn a few proven techniques to set goals and live a meaningful life.

The process of goal-setting should follow the below mentioned steps:

1. Click with your passion! - Money, Success, Fame etc. should not be the foundation of our goals. The passion or the “Joy” of doing a particular thing should be the first thing which should be taken into consideration while setting up goals. To further illustrate this let us take example of Sachin Tendulkar. What do you think was Sachin’s mentality when he picked up the bat? Was he thinking about money? Was he craving for Fame and Success? Or was it simply his passion for playing cricket? I think the answer is obvious, his passion guided him to play cricket and the rest is history. Find your triggers and think about what is it that you want to do with your life.

2. Dream Big! – Is your dream big enough to excite you and stir you to action?
A petrol pump attendant at one of the Burma Shell filling station had a dream “to build a business empire as big as Burma Shell”. In a single lifetime this man was able to realize his dream and built the biggest Indian business empire. The business empire is today known as Reliance. The man was Dhirubhai Ambani.
“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars” - Les
Brown

3. Find your Role Model! - In 1958, walking out of a movie theatre after having watched bodybuilder Steve Reeves in Hercules, the 12-year-old kid couldn't believe what he had just seen. He said to himself, "do you want to be a bum or be like Steve Reeves?" He chose the latter and from that early age developed a keen interest in bodybuilding. 18 years later he starred in an Oscar winning movie, “ROCKY”. The kid was “Sylvester Stallone”. Find someone you can emulate!

4. Be Focused! - When a lens comes between Sunlight and a paper, the paper gets burnt. What purpose does the lens serve? It helps in focusing the Sunlight. Believe in power of concentration of your energies. Don’t let your mind waiver because “If you chase two rabbits both are going to escape”.

Finally use SMART Goals.

• S - Specific - Be very specific /precise and write down your goal in a precise positive statement

• M - Measurable - Goals should be measurable. So set performance goals rather than outcome goals.
• A - Achievable - Set realistic goals and achievable goals,
• R - Realistic - Set realistic goals and achievable goals
• T - Time-Bound – There should be a deadline. Without a deadline a Goal is not a goal but merely a wish.

And finally “STAY HUNGRY”.

"The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive, but to move ahead, to go up, to achieve, to conquer," – Arnold Schwarzenegger

Live life king size!!

I would just like to share something which recently occupied my mind for most of the time:

I can make attrition models to stop the attrition of customers from a client’s portfolio while I can’t stop the attrition of joy, satisfaction and health from my own life.
I can be too involved in predicting which guys can go delinquent while my own health is about to file bankruptcy.
I can spend nights after nights doing survival analysis for insurance companies but I can’t figure out which things are essential for my “Healthy Survival”,
I don’t want to be too much engrossed customizing a client’s IVR (Interactive Voice response unit) according to the needs of his customers while I can’t customize my life according to my friends/loved ones/kids/spouse/my parents.
Be yourself, live your OWN LIFE, don’t get too much influenced by other people’s life. Don’t be jealous(and If you succeed then let me know how J), sometimes you will be way ahead; sometimes you will be way behind. It’s a long race and in the end it’s going to be with yourself only.
don’t strive for a big bungalow or villa if you have decided to spent most of your time in the office
don’t run after luxurious cars if they are going to be parked in your office parking for most of the time, instead buy a small car and have time to go on a drive with your parents/someone you love/friends,
don’t join an expensive health club if you are never going to go there,
You are juggling your career, health, relations, status and money in a circus called life. Be very sure which balls you want to handle carefully; relations and health are made of glass once dropped they will be shattered while career and money are like tennis ball and they can bounce back again. --- ex president of coca cola is of this particular view
few years from now you won’t regret about certain badly written codes/ badly made presentations/bad Ratings/missed Promotions but you will surely miss the time which you COULD HAVE spent with your parents/kids/spouse/lover, your youth , your health, the bachelor nights spent at some club with your friends
Don’t run In a vicious circle which says.. earn lots of money and world will call you successful and that success will give you the joy, try the other way round, do what you love to do, gain joy…success will surely follow and then money and fame will be all yours.


One should work for a living and not live for working.

“a ship is safe in the harbor but that’s not what ships are meant for” …start the journey called life and explore all that you can in a single lifetime…

I was a little more than useless

i am so useful, of course, i am as i earn bread for myself, i can purchase and wear expensive "useful" clothes, i have rented a big "useful" apartment ( where i hardly spend anytime), i have a useful car(on which i hardly go on drives), i have a useful mobile(which i hardly use to call up my old pals). i am an adult now and my life is full of so many useful experiences that i can give useful advices to useless kids. i too was a useless kid once but i changed. i guess we all change

gone re the useless days when i was a useless kid. my life was so useless then. living with my parents (by god's grace they were not useless parents.) who loved me so much. gone re the useless days when i was so carefree, when i was wasting so much time with my useless friends, when i was waking up uselessly everyday to live my useless days.

gone re the useless days when i was a useless kid. i laughed uselessly, i played uselessly, i ate uselessly, i slept uselessly, i was happy in my useless clothes, my useless bicycle, my useless friends, my useless toffees, my useless ice candies, useless homework, useless classes, useless punishments, useless scoldings, useless birthday celebrations. wow life was so damn useless then.
gone re the useless advices given by my parents, my uncles and my aunts which were supposed to convert my useless life into a rich, meaningful and useful life(and it has turned out to be).

when i was a useless kid i had some useless dreams but i was not supposed to live em. for dreams don't help us in making a living!! i wanted to "live" but i have ended up pretending to live. all thanks to the useful education that i got from my useful schools and colleges.i got all the useful gyan as to how to make a living but in the process i forgot to learn "how to make a life?".

given a chance i would like to go back because i think childhood was not so useless. it was a little more than useless for i still relish those memories. i am alive in the present but i am living in the past.

kindly ignore the useless gramatical/spelling mistakes.